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Lord Occasional-Table

The Lord Occasional-Table.

I’m the Lord Occasional Table.
I work when I am able.
It’s mainly big time crime.
If ever I’m caught a Masonic handshake limits the fine.

I’m the Lord Occasional-Table.
I like networking with the unstable.
I introduced Sir Rodger Ing to your Aunt Mabel.
He was taken in by the back-door of her stable.

I’m the Lord Occasional-Table.
My expenses are the stuff of fable.
I often cheat, but the evidence is cleared by a click of the mouse.
My only grouse is taking the Whip in the House.

I’m the Lord Occasional-Table.
I’ve started to blog – a veritable parable.
It builds me up and gets you down.
So what do expect from a political clown?

I’m the Lord Occasional-Table.
Unelected, paid for my place ‘cos I’m able.
There’s a General Election due in the Other Place.
Members of Parliament; many of them are a disgrace.

I’m the Lord Occasional-Table.
I don’t vote, in UK elections because I’m not able.
You’ll go out and fill the ballot form like sheep.
You’re conditioned by political parties who’ll act like creeps.

I’m the Lord Occasional-Table.
My tastes are wide and I’m almost invulnerable.
Unlike you, I’m made for life.
I’ve several mistresses, no catamites and only one wife.


Mail on Sunday 21.2.10 "FURY AS TOWN HALLS SPEND £1.4M ON 'AWAY DAYS"
Town hall chiefs have blown £1.4million of taxpayers' money on trips for staff, while telling the public they're strapped for cash. Council officials have paid for away days to £200 a night hotels, spas, go-karting tracks & holiday village Center Parcs over the past 4 years. The biggest spender was Tower Hamlets in East London which paid out £233,890 on trips.
(My comment: yet they say they haven't got enough money for care for elderly people)


Mail on Sunday 21.2.10 "70k BILL FOR DESKS AT JOB CUTS HOSPITAL"
A hospital spent £70,000 on 4 office desks while preparing to cut jobs. The desks were paid for by the Royal Free Charity, which usually donates money for medical equipment or research. Last week the Royal Free Trust warned that over 180 posts could be lost after the Royal Free's annual budget was cut by a quarter. Employees at the hospital are furious about the desks & a trustee of one of the hospital's charities resigned in protest.

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