Daily Express: Changing a light bulb...an idiot's guide for MPs

by Mark Reynolds

Even for our esteemed leaders there is no hiding place from the nanny state imposed by the health and safety bureaucrats.

At first glance it would seem a simple enough question: How do you change a light bulb?

But it is a poser that appears to be continuing to puzzle one particular profession - politicians.

For MPs have been issued with an official memo explaining exactly what to do if they should suddenly be plunged into darkness in the corridors of power.

The step-by-step instructions include 10 points stressing the need for protective gloves, a mask, a sturdy box, stiff card or paper, a damp cloth, tape, labels and a pen or pencil.

Given the amount of effort obviously involved, it's surprising they don't simply delegate the task to someone else immediately.

The idiot's guide was issued by Nick Harvey, Lib Dem MP for North Devon and spokesman for the House of Commons Commission, which is responsible for the running of that venerable institution.

He devised what must surely be the definitive manual in response to an official inquiry from Tory David Davis, MP for Monmouth.

Mr Davies asked him to clarify what should be done in the event of finding "environmentally friendly light bulbs which have been broken".

Last night a spokesman for the Taxpayers' Alliance described the guide as "ridiculous". He said: "MPs are public servants paid for using public money. Have they really nothing better to do than sit around writing guidelines on how to use a dustpan and brush? Politicians are living on another planet. We pay good money into the Government coffers and the very least we expect is good value in return."

Mr Harvey explained that the inquiry was made after a colleague was injured. He said: "A light bulb had been broken and placed in a waste paper bin. Someone picked it out and cut their finger. When broken, these sorts of environmental bulbs do spread glass and dust and a question was put forward seeking clarification on the correct procedure."

But Mr Davies claims he is still unclear - and may well ask Mr Harvey for further clarification. He said: "I heard there was mercury in these bulbs assumed there would be a special way of handling them. The response was lengthy but it didn't touch on the mercury. I may well go back to it another time." Alternatively, he could of course just ask his wife.